i wanted to leave you a cryptic call

detailing how i felt

and what it would lead me to do

but it went to voicemail

“leave your message after the beep”

and the first echoing cry rang out

shrill and empty

like a cracked bell

with no more strength to ring

i hung up

the silence swarmed into my body

and the second echoing cry spilled out

sour and hoarse

like stale lemon drops

forgotten in the back of my throat

i tied a knot

and the the knot became a noose

but my head would not go through

and the third echoing cry writhed out

painful and fearful

of anticipating

many more nights

and many more cries