unlove poem
after Nate Marshall
our glances meet at the sinks. we walk backwards into
the stalls, three apart.i am red converse
and you are ugg boots and we only share in toilet sounds.
now you unpeel your eyes from the floor, we cross paths,
you briefly forget i exist. i uncut my hair, it
pulls back into my scalp in clumps. two years of silence
retreat, it is december and the cell tower stills
and the radio waves unwaver from the air, the voice
on the phone unasks what happened to us, the sobs garble, i am ungiving
my apologies, those sounds are now echos, a premonition, now
the phone unhaunts my thoughts, i undial your number, and the keypad
stops screaming at me. we have never hurt each other before.
at thirteen, we are awkward and too serious. we retreat into our bodies
the summer before high school: breasts shrinking, stomachs rounding,
faces smoothing. you are excited, having heard about adolescent love
and car keys. i want to quote Hemingway and drink black coffee
without wincing. our curfew dwindles but so do our fears.
soon enough we will be young enough to relearn laughing
with our mouths wide open, lips scraping braces. soon enough we will forget
what it feels like to be always untethered. from here, i stand at the center
of a path, dead ends on either side. down one way, we are
twelve, sitting criss-cross applesauce at camp where we are
meeting for the first time. i unlearn your name, you mine.
we are strangers in both directions.