ladybug pimples

i can feel your fingers tug at my sleeve 

i can hear your keys jingle when you’re ‘bout to leave

do you care to look up from your work

and call me your distraction for as long as you please?

i know your ego is getting bloated 

from all the little words i feed you at night

and i know that you’re not worth it

you can call me your distraction every night of your life

compassion is a color i will never wear 

your face

your body

your nose

your hair

my feet stay gliding through the tunnel of boredom

my eyes

my lips

i wish 

i cared

how do you feel that your names in the bible?

honeybee, won’t you follow me and be my disciple?

i’ll pour my nectar in your morning tea

you belong in the dust but i don’t want you to be unhappy

i pretend like the play’s so simple 

pray for makeup to disguise my ladybug pimples

rain drops dive into your pores

i’m the beetle in your bedroom that’s so hard to ignore

my classmate keeps a list of everything you’ve done

your fight for the white army and my fight for the sun

nobody has won

valentine’s day 

someone threw the roses out the window

did you see ‘em?

were you there?

night terrors of dying as a widow

i wish i didn’t care

i don’t wanna fight with you 

i wanna make a bed in your hand

let’s sleep in our lavender patch

you forgot your keys

but i felt you standing at my door

the roses don’t breathe anymore

loading showers 

loading wells for both my eyes

holding powers

we couldn’t handle if we tried

if i’m angry i could slide into your arms 

but i never got a chance to be in them

when i wake up i could stretch into your eyes

but i never got a chance to see with them

360 degrees, full circle

no more distractions

no more distractions

you drained the red out of my purple

welcome compassion

no more distractions 

loading showers 

and screenshots of you in your tie

over the hours

i found another layer of i

birthday cake tea

as my mind

changes 

i take a sip

of my birthday cake tea

as my body 

changes 

i take a trip 

to ladybug sea

my domain 

has a tower

standing hexillion feet high

i love to boast because i lived to climb

the staircase i built

out of thin ink and guilt

i stand loose and still 

and beam down at the moon

your false devotion 

to the god of your choice 

antagonist i could be if i still have a voice

i see black tank tops

like diamonds ruby, cerulean and green

i live at the table 

but i’m living the dream 

acne king 

the queen is dead

poisoned words still left unsaid 

i wanted a shake on such a warm night

in search of sweet milk came cardboard and ice 

i could inhale a skyscraper at first sight 

wash away the insects on the wall and the needles in the mirror

i wore lipstick and looked like a minor note scale

my world has one baby and she’ll need me there

when mars comes in springtime 

and the sun comes in snow 

your god complex will take it’s time to come and go

my sun went and took the medal

my tribe is unmatched

you rigged all your chances but you’re still a catch

your aura’s a thick jelly but my heart’s on the sleeve

of my vintage denim jacket that you never got to see

it’s funny how i felt a need to keep you around

if i’m a distraction i’ll have fun dragging you down