You passed on Thanksgiving

The holiday shared my birthday that year

A plaguing coincidence

We weren’t really close at all

But you are the reason I have a father and You always hugged me with eager arms

I tried to call as you were slipping away but You loved so many that needed to

Say goodbye to you it didn’t seem fair

That I should get in their way

So I never said a word

I never apologized for the way I spoke

Against you when my beliefs began to differ

I won’t say I was wrong but You did not deserve to die with such Disrespect from one that loved you

I don’t think I could have said I’m sorry as you lay there dying but Maybe a chance to tell you

I love you one more time

Might have left my mind at ease

But I never said a word

The days grew dark

The air so cold as Your eyes and body did the same

Winter settles without a promise of

Anything that can settle my conscience or

A return to anything more than

The leafless branches and thinning winds

That mark a time of lifelessness

I wore a coat when You wore a casket but Again I wasn’t there

Just another weight to add on this guilt I’ll never say a word

My house has always been cold

No matter where I’ve lived

A play of purgatory but in reverse

Perhaps I’ve always been living

A life of constant punishment for

The way that I could so easily

Not care about those that I care about

The way I left you shivering in

The shadows of my heart

Are now equally repaid in

The way I can’t find forgiveness

You will never say a word

You shrugged off life in the same way that

I’m sure you shrugged off

The cruelty that I dealt you but

I will never know it since

My shoulders are far too racked with

Guilt that pins me down

I’m not strong enough to shrug things off

You have left me in this icebox

Chilled only by self-hate

I can’t believe on purpose but

It almost feels that way

I know one thing that you believed that

We will see each other again

I no longer know if that’s the case but

If we do I feel certain

You will hug me with those eager arms

We won’t need to say a word