Unspoken
You passed on Thanksgiving
The holiday shared my birthday that year
A plaguing coincidence
We weren’t really close at all
But you are the reason I have a father and You always hugged me with eager arms
I tried to call as you were slipping away but You loved so many that needed to
Say goodbye to you it didn’t seem fair
That I should get in their way
So I never said a word
I never apologized for the way I spoke
Against you when my beliefs began to differ
I won’t say I was wrong but You did not deserve to die with such Disrespect from one that loved you
I don’t think I could have said I’m sorry as you lay there dying but Maybe a chance to tell you
I love you one more time
Might have left my mind at ease
But I never said a word
The days grew dark
The air so cold as Your eyes and body did the same
Winter settles without a promise of
Anything that can settle my conscience or
A return to anything more than
The leafless branches and thinning winds
That mark a time of lifelessness
I wore a coat when You wore a casket but Again I wasn’t there
Just another weight to add on this guilt I’ll never say a word
My house has always been cold
No matter where I’ve lived
A play of purgatory but in reverse
Perhaps I’ve always been living
A life of constant punishment for
The way that I could so easily
Not care about those that I care about
The way I left you shivering in
The shadows of my heart
Are now equally repaid in
The way I can’t find forgiveness
You will never say a word
You shrugged off life in the same way that
I’m sure you shrugged off
The cruelty that I dealt you but
I will never know it since
My shoulders are far too racked with
Guilt that pins me down
I’m not strong enough to shrug things off
You have left me in this icebox
Chilled only by self-hate
I can’t believe on purpose but
It almost feels that way
I know one thing that you believed that
We will see each other again
I no longer know if that’s the case but
If we do I feel certain
You will hug me with those eager arms
We won’t need to say a word