11:59

2 weeks ago I was awarded with my final assignment in high school being a

 3 page essay on what I plan to do after this class.

4 weeks ago I had already decided that I'm mentally not doing anything else for this same class.

5 days ago Ellen had let me look at the last sentences of her essay. 

She teared up-

 I'm not sure why, because 6 months ago she told me she can’t wait to finish this class.

 I’ve been awake trying to write my own essay, but I just can’t help thinking..

What do I plan to.. do? 

There’s so much out there and I barely know anything.

I can’t even write my own essay on time

I can’t be some lawyer, teacher, or engineer..

any pioneer really 

I mean, I can read, write, find the missing side of any triangle but..

What can I DO do, you know?

I’ve dreamt about these moments for 7 years and I still don’t know what I plan to

Do.. do..  dew?

I think I had something… to.. Due?

I had something due!

At a loss for words and time, I opened up my laptop

With the speed of 1,000 of the world's finest procrastinators at 8pm.

Their voices came to life after about 9 minutes of effort on my essay.

They all kept whispering 

Like it was our little secret

telling me despite my essay being due tonight, 

I still had the time to “hold off” 

I should just “relax” after spending sleepless nights pondering my future and my goals.

I should just STOP WORRYING about what I plan to do and just…

Lie down.

Feel my body sink deeper and deeper into my mattress 

Almost fusing into my bed sheets, while another study alarm rings. 

The indent on my bed and time was forever slowing down.

My eyes started to follow suit.

I checked back to my essay tab for my 10th revision but the description

Had blurred words and flashing lights.

I closed my eyes 

and still remember that time

When I woke up at

11:59